Saturday, September 12, 2009

Dirty Little Secrets

I don't ever mean to mislead readers into thinking that GrannyMountain is in any way the perfect place to live. Even though I proudly have "…as nearly perfect a little place as I ever lived in, and such nice old-fashioned people in the village." -Beatrix Potter's quote at the top of my blog. This is Small Town USA and there are some dirty little secrets that go on in these parts. We're so small that the paper has to list several of the nearby cities in the police reports to make it worthwhile! Bella Vista is a beautiful little community of retirees about 10 minutes, as the crow flies, from my house. They have some shenanigans going on down there that should be nipped in the bud, if you know what I mean...

I do hope you can read the print, it's small to me so I'll reprint this:
My opinions are in italics, and can be taken with a grain of salt :-)

At 2:18 a.m. Thursday, a Duxford Circle Resident reported someone prowling around the home and ringing the doorbell. Raccoons were found on the back deck.
Those are some sneaky little Raccoons, and tall too since they can reach the doorbell!

At 8:31 a.m. Thursday, a Jack Russell dog was reported digging up dead things and bringing them to a house on Sullivan Lane. A notice was left for the dog's owner to call the animal control officer.

Can you imagine coming home and finding out your dog has been "cheating" on you? Those presents were meant for YOU!

At 8:35 a.m. Thursday, a white service truck was reported on the wrong side of Basildon Drive, just north of Riordan Hall. The vehicle's door was open, and a man was lying face down on the ground.
This one does sound suspicious...



At 6:59 p.m. Thursday, a caller reported that a truck dropped off a trailer with a forklift on it on Elizabeth Drive. The equipment was for a construction site around the corner.
Mistakes like this can lead to more Police Reports!

These two were in yesterday's paper, a slow day in Bella Vista. The first one is just plain Tomfoolery. The second one could have caused a Senior Citizen heart attack!

11 comments:

  1. These are so great. Small town papers and what they print always make me SHAKE MY HEAD in wonder.

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  2. Oh my gosh if that is the worst you have to deal with, you certainly live in a piece of paradise don't you. I love the first photo!! What is that of? Hugs. Tammy

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  3. Anyone else envisioning Barney Fife typing up that report all serious and incredulous? lol

    I come from a county where there are less than 9000 people. Thanks for reminding me of home today.

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  4. Sounds like a fab-tabulous place to live!!! I love small towns :)

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  5. Hi! First time on your blog today - am loving the police reports! I was picturing Barney Fife too! LOL Makes me wish I lived in a small town. I am loving your house - not sure what's my favorite so far... but your outdoor spaces are too pretty! Am going now to spend a bit of time reading all I've missed. :)

    Ellen

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  6. How funny....small town america....love it....love it

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  7. Oh my! I've been here on your blog for a whole two minutes and already I'm LOL! I love the Jack Russell report (we have a JRT so I can see this happening). Great stuff! Nice to meet you :) -Tammy

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  8. Wish the whole world was a small town in USA..
    We'd all e so much happier

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  9. What a den of iniquity. I'm truly scandalized :-).

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  10. A real scary place...Ha! Ha! I love this post!!

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  11. Ha Ha those are funny! If only those could be the only "crimes" in everytown USA!

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