Tuesday, May 18, 2010

One of the Lucky Ones!

Mom (1942)

I've always liked things that were old, steeped in tradition or passed down from one generation to the next. My Grandma Keeling instilled in me the value of heirlooms. That may be too "grand" of a word for the items that have been passed down to me. Cracked pitchers, faded plates and linens that are yellowed with age are just some of the things that I love.

My Grandma Keeling lost her Mother to rheumatic fever when she was only 6. Her father owned the general store in the small community of Lead Hill. Of course he spent many hours away from his young daughter, so Grandma's Aunt Zulah was there for her. Ten short years later, Grandma's father passed. She went to live with her Aunt and Uncle, her relationship to them was close, almost as if they were her parents.

I was listening to Dr. Laura Berman the other day on XM. She has recently lost her mother to cancer and is having a very difficult time. She was sharing with callers her feelings...her stomach "drops," as fear sets in and the realization that her mother is really gone. Even though for the past 25 years she and her mother lived apart, now there is a sadness that she can't reach out and call her, touch her.

One of the things that she mentioned that hit home with me, was the fact that she had become her mother. How many times have you said something and think, "My Mother used to say that?" The connection we have with our moms is complex. They guide and direct us our whole lives. We accept it as children, we resent it as teens and young adults, then we miss it when they are gone from our lives.

Moms are the ones who plan the family gatherings, bake the favorite cakes and go that extra mile to make our children and grandchildren's lives special. As they get older, we "take up the torch" and step up to help her out. It starts slowly, usually with holiday meals and then one day we are carrying the torch by ourselves. Almost without noticing we begin the process of becoming our Mothers.

How our Mother's can be our rock yet drive us crazy is an enigma. She understands us like no one else on Earth. In a lifetime your Mom is your caregiver, your role model, your confidant. Teen years she's your nemesis, the enemy and sometimes your worst nightmare if she catches you doing something wrong! But by middle age, if you're lucky...she becomes your best friend. The one you can confide in without any worry that she will ever judge, only support you in all things. I'm one of those lucky ones!


  1. Beautifully expressed! I can only say to those of you who still have your Mother's and Grandmother's, cherish every moment you have with them.

  2. I am one of the lucky ones...my mom will be 80 this July and she really is my best friend....can't even let my mind go to the place when I will no longer have her with me...

  3. Joycee ...what a lovely post. I'm afraid I'm not one of the lucky ones. My mum left my dad and I when I was 7 and I never saw her again until I was 17 when I went to visit her. I ended up living with her for a while and we lived in the same small town until she passed away. We never did have a close relationship. You truly are one of the lucky ones...and so is she. I hope you have a wonderful day....Maura

  4. aren't moms and grandmas just the best! lovely post!

  5. You are so right. Thanks for the post.

  6. Very touching! I passed the link to your post today to a few friends.

  7. I'm a lucky one, too!
    Great post.....


  8. I'm a lucky one too! And I'm glad she's still here with me.
    Love, Kristy


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