The morning newspaper is a ritual at our house. We get up "early-30" (that's about 5:30 AM)so there will be plenty of time to read the paper and have a leisurely breakfast. Hubby reads every word, I read every other word! We love it when we come across an article that's funny or a misprint like the following...
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Really, ya' think?
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
KidsMake Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?
We all need a good laugh, at least once a day!
SMILE!!
SMILE!!
The wording of some of the headlines takes a lot of thinking to figure out just what they are talking about. A pet peeve of mine...being an old school secretary back in the days when everything had to be perfect...misspelled words, and poor use of grammar.
ReplyDeleteThose are really funny!
ReplyDeleteIsn't it Jay Leno who does "headlines". I hope he still does them on his new show.
But I digress - ha ha - Are these real headlines because I am sure there are probably some whoppers all the time!
Thanks for the laugh :D
Those are funny. In all seriousness, grammar and spelling have gotten deplorable in newspapers and particularly online.
ReplyDeleteI started a collection from one of the guys that writes for the Hawgs Illustrated website. A couple of my favorites are:
"Charles Thomas was fragrantly fouled."
and
"And in all honesty, it's bridge under the water."
I actually keep a folder of these on my computer.
This really was a giggle. Our language is a wonderful thing. I wonder how many English and journalism degrees there are in the copy rooms of the newspapers that produced these headlines. Thanks for making my day a whole lot brighter.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh! I am still laughing!
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed visiting,
Laura
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