Rough Waters

You may have missed this on NBC's nightly news. I am focused like a chicken on a June bug about this now and yesterday after I shared what I've learned about the Aid and Attendance pension, I heard from so many of you that are facing the same things we are with aging parents. This benefit is virtually unknown and has been around for a long time. My father-in-law served his country for 25 years, starting in the Army in WWII and retiring from the Air Force in the 1960's. After retiring he started another career and worked until his late 60's. Even then he had the desire to volunteer and after moving to Fayetteville, Arkansas his love for his country led him back to the military, to the local VA Hospital where he volunteered 17 more years. At 90, he now resides in the Fayetteville  VA nursing home.

It seems like my life these days revolve around parents, the same way I felt when the kids were little and needed us. Sometimes I am very tired when I lay my head down at night. But I have to tell you, I'm learning some valuable information that might just help others who are going though this with parents. 25 years ago when Daddy was in failing health, my Mom struggled to care for him on her own. She found the strength somehow and they had the savings to meet his rising medical bills. That was then, when costs were merely high, not astronomical. Mom's dementia/Alzheimer care has depleted their savings and she is now a Medicaid patient. 6 years of nursing care, all the planning done years ago with a trust and 2 Elder care lawyers guided us through very rough waters.

Loved Life And All Challenges

About the time I think I've told you everything that's stored in my memory bank,

I realize there's more! A trip back "home" to Springfield, Missouri yesterday was like walking down memory lane. 

It was filled with family and food,

really good Mexican food!

We drove by a million place where we've had coffee,

or spent nickles when I was a kid.

Places where I was spelling bee champion,

and places that inspired me to dream about what my life could be.

I walked these halls as a freshman feeling very small and unprepared for what life held for me. Yesterday when I stood in front of Central, somehow I felt 14 again. It was 1966, I had yet to meet the love of life, ahead of me was motherhood and travel, elation and despair, growth and loss.

I miss my brother. I miss talking to him on the phone and email. We never had the chance to text each other, he would have taken to that like a duck to water...he was like that!

He was the kind of person who loved to learn new things. He loved cool cars, pressed jeans and once he ate 8 hot dogs, one after the other!

Marble pyramid made by Hobert Sheldon Risley February 1960, age 13.

Happy Birthday Stephanie!

Today is our daughter Stephanie's birthday and she may be feeling like, "How can I possibly be 45?" I can't help but give a little motherly advice, after all I can see the big picture now! Somewhere in my 40's was when the insecurities of my youth began to melt away. I wasn't a perfect size 10 but I realized that being a good person made me far more happy than how I looked in my jeans. I grew up.

I had a new found confidence from the things that I had learned, experience is a valuable thing in life. I could draw from a bank of wisdom to help me with the problems that came with  raising kids and facing the daily grind. My coping skills improved.

It's hard to imagine that there will ever be a day when you can do what you want to do, but with each decade there is more "me time." One day it will just happen and you can go for a pedicure... and not feel a bit guilty!

Your 40's are when you realize that there is going to be a time when it's just the two of you again. Not exactly like when you were in your 20's, but even better! Ahead of you are sunrises and sunsets, whole days with nothing to do but read or nap! Hang on, it's comin'....

Nutty Monkey Memories

Happy 4th.... hope you are celebrating the day with something that sparkles, whether it's the people in your life or some fireworks! I can't imagine any bans this year on the poppers with all the rain we've had across the U.S.

I don't remember ever not having fireworks on the 4th when I was growing up in Springfield. We'd hit the firework stands on the way to Grandma's, my brother choosing Black Cats and bottle rockets and me... sparklers, smoke bombs and the little chicken that layed the fire eggs! You know the one, it's on everyone's "must have list." Well, maybe it's not...

Our GRANDsons make their selection and there's not a single Hen Laying Eggs or Ground Bloom Flower or Nutty Monkey. No sparklers, no Cascading Fountain. Only firecrackers and bombs. Maybe one fountain, but it's called Death Bomb Fountain or something like that. We're invited over for fireworks so I'll be nice and try my best not to complain.... I don't think anyone could hear me anyway!

Marlboro Man

Our neighbors have a new puppy and as cute as he is, I am not tempted to rush out and get one for us. For one reason, our senior citizen Cocker Spaniel is a full time job. He has some health issues with skin and eyes and ears that we treat on a daily basis. Cockers are prone to these, especially as they age. He also takes thyroid medicine twice daily, we have to do the hot dog trick to get him to take it. We love him though and no matter how much work we would never think of giving him away. But we have had to do that with one dog we took in as a stray.

Our youngest daughter Amy brought home the cutest little pup one day from work. It had obviously been dumped and wouldn't have lasted long on a busy parking lot. Our intentions were to find a home for her, but in no time she had worked her way into our hearts! The vet guessed she was part Great Dane and part Catahoula, a breed known for their herding abilities. She got big quickly, you could almost "hear" her growing from day to day. She wasn't an easy puppy to love though, she would bite our ankles, eat the lawn furniture and eventually started attacking our pool cleaner, the machine...not the man! We tried Lord knows, but after nearly a year I put my foot down (she promptly bit it) and said we were going to find her a good home. I advertised her as a healthy, spayed dog who needed a new home on a ranch with room to run.

The very first day a man called with a thick Texas accent.

"Ma'am, I saw your ad and I wanted to know what kind of dog she is?" I told him the vets' best guess was Catahoula and Great Dane. He wanted a good cattle dog he told me and made plans to come by later in the day. My heart fluttered a little as I hung up. I was at my wits end with this dog who just wasn't cut out for city life, but I wanted to find her a good home that would work.

When you live in Texas, it's not uncommon to see the big "Dually trucks," loaded down with bales of hay on flatbed trailers. I could hear his diesel engine when he pulled into the driveway. He left it running and when I opened the door, there he stood... Marlboro Man! He had on jeans and western shirt, leather chaps, gloves and a cowboy hat that was bent and dirty from hands that had done ranch work.

"I've come to look at the dog," he said. I told him she was in the backyard and to just come on through the house. As he stepped into the foyer, I glanced at his boots. They had layers of dried mud caked around the sole. He had a strong quietness about him that made me think Julie had found the right master!

She was chasing the pool cleaner around when we went outside. The hose-like contraption would circle over and over under the water, it had become an obsession with her. She would jump wildly into the pool diving and biting at the "Undersea Monster!" I called to her and she nearly knocked me over coming to a stop a few steps from him. He raised his gloved hand and simply said "Sit." Julie immediately sit, and stayed. It was a miracle, I had never seen her do anything like this. No matter how hard we had tried, we could not tame her wild ways. In one second he had accomplished what we had been unable to do in a whole year.

He explained to me he wanted a good cattle dog that had the stamina to live outside, watch over his property and work the cows. He said, "She'll do good." I tried to give him her outside toys but he declined, telling me they would just be a nuisance for his wife to have to pick up every time SHE mowed....I couldn't help but smile at that!!

"Well then, you'll need her leash," I said as we walked around to the gate. Julie had always been walked on a leash, we'd never let her run loose.

"Nope, she'll have to mind me or this won't work." My heart sank. I just knew she'd take off, never to be seen again. He flung open the gate and she took off like a bullet, all 100 pounds of her. He whistled sharply and motioned for her to get up on the flatbed loaded with hay. She obeyed him like she had been doing it all her life. She easily jumped to the top of the bales and then into the back of his Ford F350, wagging her tail wildly!

As he pulled out of the driveway, the sun was just going down in the West and the hot Texas day was giving way to the cool evening breezes. I stood there and watched as they drove away. Julie never looked back. She was looking forward to new frontiers and her life with Marlboro Man!

I see the red barn...

I think of my Grandma Keeling often this time of year. I associate a warm kitchen and the aromas of the holidays with her. Although she's been gone for 40 years now, I can still see her in that little kitchen at Lead Hill. Thanksgiving was always at Grandma's house. We'd make the trip down to Arkansas after Daddy would get off work. I'd sleep part of the way, waking up when we headed down the big hill that turned into their gravel driveway. You could see the porch lights and the glow of the kitchen windows shining brightly in the cold November night. The house would smell delicious as we came through the service porch, pies and broth and sage all mingled together.

The next morning when I woke up, she and Mom would have already started the preparations for the big meal. Grandma in her apron with the big pockets, their voices would go up and down depending on what they were discussing. Grandma was always cheerful and she spoke often of friends and family. She was a prayer warrior, sprinkled into her sentences were the mention of those who were in need of a prayer sent up. "Bless Cora May, she's going through a hard time right now." We always knew who was sick or sad or down on their luck. Grandma would laugh and talk non stop as she cooked dinner, making trips to and from the pantry. In that pantry were rows and rows of tomatoes and green beans, pickles and relishes, jams and jellies. Every jar she opened, she'd say the same thing... "Isn't it good to have plenty?"

Today as we celebrate with a table loaded with our favorite dishes, in a warm house with family all around us, we feel blessed and loved and her voice rings in my ears. Happy Thanksgiving!

Prayers for Patricia

Pretty, isn't she? If you knew her you'd really think she was somethin' special, cause she is! I don't think that just because we're kin, she's got a whole posse of folks who are pretty high on her! Right now she is facing a battle with cancer, and the smile on her face is there because she knows she is being carried into battle by her Lord and Savior... and the prayers of about a zillion friends and family. She's been a warrior once before so she knows what lies ahead. I ask you please to remember Patricia in your prayers, she is facing a pivotal point in her battle. Her words, "Inspire until you expire" ...she will feel the strength of many praying for her.

Love ya Sweetie! 

Fried Peach Pies

Grandma Keeling's fried pies were simple, that's not to say that they weren't the most delicious treat that came out of that old kitchen. She was a country cook who used lard and white flour and didn't have to go to the store for everything, they grew most of what they needed. Every morning she put on her apron and made biscuits for Grandpa, he would have thought the world would have come to an end if he didn't have a hot biscuit on his plate alongside his eggs at 7AM! Those biscuits were enjoyed with honey or sorghum or preserves that had been put up over the summer months when their little orchard produced peaches, apples and pears. Grandma also dried the fruits, spreading them out on steel screens that Grandpa fashioned out of old window frames just for this purpose. On special mornings she'd put that little saucepan on the back burner and add some dried peaches in preparation for making her fried pies. As the peaches cooked down the smell of summer filled the kitchen, even if it was the dead of Winter. If you had a Granny who made these for you, I don't have to explain how good they are. If you didn't, you need to make them... just once. Make sure you do it when someone you love is there with you to absorb the goodness♥♥♥

Fried Peach Pies
Filling
6-7 ounces dried fruit (peaches, apples, apricots)
1 cup sugar
2 cups water
1/4 cup butter
1/2 tsp cinnamon

Dough

2 Cups all purpose flour
1 Tsp salt
1/2 C Crisco Grandma used lard
1/2 C of milk

Put the dried fruit in a saucepan and add water. Bring to a boil and reduce heat to simmer until the fruit is tender, about 15 minutes. Add the cinnamon, then mash with a fork. Set aside while you make the dough.Place flour and salt in a bowl and stir together. Cut in the shortening with a fork and add the milk and stir until dough sticks together. Divide into about 8-10 balls. Roll each out on a floured surface, in 5-6" circles. Place 2 tablespoons or so of filling in each. You want them full but not enough that it oozes out. Wet the edges and fold over, crimping with a fork. Cook in oil which has been heated on medium heat, until brown on both sides, turning as needed. Remove to paper towel lined plate.

Stand back and wait for compliments!

Nine Eleven

All of us are remembering where we were 9-11-2001. Fourteen years have passed, but in my heart it feels like yesterday. Our life at the time was a flurry of family turmoils; our youngest daughter had moved back home to escape an abusive relationship, my Mother was on a downhill slide with her dementia and my brother was facing his last year with terminal heart disease.

That morning I was on my way to Mom’s farm 100 miles away to take her to a doctor’s appointment. I had an oil change scheduled early at the dealership and was in the waiting room watching TV when I saw the first reports of the plane crashing into the Trade Center. By the time they had the car ready and I was on the road to Mom’s, the second plane went down. The radio announcers reported the news in a panicked state and I remember feeling so vulnerable in a world I’d never known. I turned the car around, called Mom and told her to turn the TV on and to stay inside close to the phone. As I drove home I saw long lines at gas stations, really long…out on the highway, backed up to refuel in this state of emergency. My head spun with what to do first, call my husband…he had left that morning on a business trip and was on the road too. He too was in shock, turned the car around and headed home. We both realized our lives had changed forever. In the days that followed we watched in horror the coverage on TV. I remember thinking how worried I was about Mom’s declining health and Amy’s broken heart. Now those problems seemed so small compared to the grief so many were facing with the loss of their loved ones.

A lot has happened in fourteen years. Life has a way of going on. Regardless of what happened yesterday, one thing is certain about life…the fact that it’s uncertain. But that makes the sun coming up each morning so special.

Our gratitude to the many who sacrificed countless hours and months in all capacities to rebuild our country. Today I honor those who lost their lives, our thoughts and prayers are with the many loved ones left behind.

Famous people who may or may not be celebrating a birthday...

Here's a fun little test for you guys to take, see if you can guess who these famous people are!  I'll give you a few hints- 

Likes fava beans...

Loves shoes, anything that is pink or sparkles, just found out she's going to be a Nana this year...

Made Evoo a household word...

Can't get no satisfaction...

Famous judge...

Voted by Time Magazine, Most Influential People in the World...

Stays fit writing her name...

Deal or No Deal...

Can carry a note...

Happy as a Waterboy, Wedding Singer or Big Daddy...

Started as a Pretty Baby...

Still has that same goofy smile... OK, did you guess them right?

Anthony Hopkins, daughter Stephanie who just happens to be celebrating a birthday tomorrow, Rachel Ray, Mick Jagger, Jennifer Lopez, George Clooney, Catherine Zeta-Jones-Douglas, Howey Mandell, Celine Dion, Adam Sandler, Brooke Shields, Eddie Murphy.

Have a Happy Birthday Sweetie!

The Silly Billy Gene

This picture was taken years ago after Christmas dinner at Mom's. Whoever took it thought it would be funny to get our "best sides" in a group picture. That's me, my mother-in-law and Mom. We are a silly bunch and I thought I would try to put a smile on your face by sharing some of the one's that we have taken through the years.

Here we go...

Mom~Christmas 1982

The women in the family love to get something sparkly to wear!

Stephanie~11 and Amy~3 Christmas 1981

It's in their blood to ham it up!

This is the Chief Ham, His Hamness, Grandpa!



Me~Christmas 1993

"Ohhh, this is too much!"

This is Hubby's Popeye Face, he does this one in a lot of pictures!

We are also an excitable bunch, much enthusiaum no matter what the present may be!

Hubby~Christmas 2000 in Texas

He wanted to brag to everyone that he went swimming on Christmas!

Amy~Christmas 1985

Great picture to show to her son when he's older!

Hubby or Napoleon?

This is where Hubby gets Popeye Face...from his Dad!

Hubby with his "purty face!"

Even our cat "Smudgy" was a clown!

Ok, I had to get permission from our daughter Stephanie to share this one! In defense, she WAS on cold medicine and she was doing her best to keep Jackson amused during all of the present opening on Christmas morning 1994.

This may be my favorite...the players are seated left to right, my Mom, my Mother in Law and my Father in Law. The gift is from us...a bread machine. Dad T.'s saying, "Maybe now I'll finally get some hot bread!" Look at Mom T.'s face...then look at my Mom's!

Hey, it was funny!

Ewan~Christmas 2007

The Silly Billy gene is alive and well in the future generation!

In loving memory of my father-in-law who taught us all he had to know about silliness! We miss you Dad!