Shopping Cart Rules

Last week was my 6 month dental appointment. The hygienist that does my cleaning is a talker so the time always goes pretty fast. When Dr. Weir came in to do the final check he always makes chit-chat, he said he and his wife were coming back from Tulsa last Saturday when they decided to stop at the Wal-mart SuperCenter at Siloam Springs, a small town just a few miles out. Less people = quick grocery store trip…in and out and home. Wrong! For one thing, in a small town Wal-mart is the main attraction. Even if you don’t need anything, you go to Wal-mart and walk around to see if you do need something. I always tell Hubby that the big wigs at Wal-mart set around tables deciding what we can’t live without. You may have noticed that there are many different kinds of shoppers and each one presents a different mode of shopping.

There are the Working Moms With Kids: They pretty much go down the aisles fast because their main goal is to get OUT of the store as quickly as possible before the kids need a nap and have a meltdown.
Then there’s Moms Without Kids: They have the option to stop, look and read the labels. This person can really put a kink in things on a busy Saturday at Wal-mart.
Senior Couples, "Men Pushing The Cart" Category: They lean on the cart waiting patiently for the wife to look and load. Some of these women let their husbands roam a distance from the cart, but that can lead to trouble. They need watching for needless purchases, i.e. meat sticks, cookies loaded with calories and the full fat potato chips. They slip stuff in the cart when you are not looking. Check your cart frequently if you shop with one of these men!
Then you have the Male Shoppers Sent By Wives: They are clutching the list. These men have a "deer in the headlights" look on their face! They are more often than not, on the telephone asking directions with each cart addition. Stay a wide distance from these men, they are huge violators of cart etiquette and will criss-cross and change directions with no warning. These are some of the biggest problem shoppers.
Finally, there are Single Men who are there to get what they want and will run you over to pass by you in a crowded aisle. They zigzag and stop their cart sideways in the middle while they go from side to side grabbing items randomly. These men never have a list. They buy what sounds good at that moment. YOU know the kind!

So here's the rules:
1. Stay to the right.

2. When you park your cart, shop to the right first and to the left second. Only one left side purchase is allowed while parked to the right, this is called "darting." You may dart across for one item only, then you must immediately return to your cart.

3. If you need more than one item on the left, park to the left side as far as possible. Select all needed items from the left and then merge back to the right side when traffic is clear.

4. When turning corners, ongoing passing traffic has the right of way. Wait your turn.

5. At no time is it acceptable to park your cart in the middle of the aisle, nor may you park sideways with the nose of the cart pointing at the shelves. This is "taking your half out of the middle" and is not allowed.
6. You may pass other shoppers, but oncoming traffic goes first. After completing your pass, merge back to the right. Pulling close in front of another shopper after passing and then stopping is bad manners.
7. It is highly recommended that you avoid any shopper who is talking on their cell phone while they shop, as these people have no idea what they are doing or where they are at the moment.

Good luck with the grocery shopping this week...

Please, Observe All Rules!