Sunday, June 5, 2011

Stages of Marriage
According to experts in the field all marriages tend to evolve in common stages:

Romance or Honeymoon Stage - Couples are swept up in the excitement and romance of their relationship. Differences seem relatively unimportant (and can even be exciting), as they focus on discovering each other and sharing life together. That would be when he thought it was "cute" that I liked cold pizza for breakfast and I thought he was perfect in every way!

Reality Stage - Couples learn more about themselves and each other in situations they haven’t faced together before. Some of what they encounter may not be congruent with their pre-existing assumptions and expectations and may be conflictual. Once married, there is a lot more to disagree about than during dating. This might include the time he thought I had paid rent and I thought he had paid rent!

Childrearing Stage - The arrival of children is a particularly critical 'new reality' transition for marriages. Kids transform the focus of a family and can dramatically increase the stress levels. Duh! Many times we disagreed on the "right way" to parent. Looking back, there is no right way... you just do what you have to do at the time and PRAY!

Accommodation Stage - Couples work to renew their relationship on a down-to-earth basis by learning about their needs and managing their differences and areas of conflict. Areas of conflict... not.enough.time.for.each.other. Solved when we declared Friday nights were "date night." I think this happened about 15 years into our marriage and even though we talked about kids, money and other problems when we'd go out... it was still our time. Somewhere along the way we started talking TO each other again!

Transformation or Success Stage - Couples enjoy the benefits of a marriage that satisfies their needs and provides mutual support. This leads to more profound intimacy over the years as the couple shares the experience of ups and downs. They work to keep it that way. Forty-one years today, I think it's gonna last! He's my rock and he'd say I was his biggest cheerleader. We have found the secret to happiness, the road to paradise, the recipe for a good relationship.

1. Mexican food once a week.
2. Pool, lake or ocean and time to set beside and enjoy.
3. Multiple tvs, computers and bathrooms!


  1. I love your recipe! Happy Anniversary to you both!

  2. Happy Anniversary. It's nice to be married to your best friend, isn't it?

  3. Great only continues to get better...Happy Anniversary!

  4. Happy Anniversary.

    Love the third point!!!

  5. SERIOUSLY?!?!?!? Today is your 41st Anniversary!?!?!?!?


    OURS too!

    Happy Anniversary!


    On that last one...
    1. We eat out most every day, because he chooses to remain living.

    2. He maintains the pool, for the kids and grandkids, because we like to see them, occasionally.

    3. AMEN!!!

  7. Happy Anniversary and Congratulations for all the married miles of your life. Yes Ma'm, I think you've got it figured out. job well done!

  8. Happy Anniversary to you,,,,

  9. Thanks for all the sweet anniversary wishes! All joking aside, I realize just how lucky I am that I found the right person, the first time around and we had the sense to work through all the problems to reach where we are now. It was hard work, continues to be hard work, but oh so worth it!


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