Friday, August 5, 2011

Big Girl

It's been a long week for my Mother-in-law, in fact it's been an uphill walk for her the last couple years since my Father-in-law had a stroke. Up until then, their old fashioned marriage had him managing the finances, making hard decisions and shielding her from worries. Not the life that most women can imagine, or want... that is unless you ARE that generation of wives. My Mother was one of those too, her part of the equation was to take care of my brother and me and keep the house clean. Those were only 2 of her job titles, there was a list a mile long associated with being a housewife. She managed the house and all aspects of it's care, all the shopping that was done for food or clothing was her responsibility and making the dollars stretch to cover all the expenses was her forte. She was good at it. Not only could she stretch Dad's paycheck, she somehow did a magic trick with it and was able to squeeze out savings each week. Don't be throwing stones at those old fashioned marriages, it was a partnership just like the one you are currently in.

This week Mom T. has had to sign a million papers, making decisions about my Father-in-law's care and future. She decided where he will live as well as how she is going to pay for his care plan. She's settled her mind to the fact that he may not be able to come home again, this may be the new normal in their 64 year marriage. She put on her big girl panties and did what had to be done. At 87, that's Charles Atlas strong, don't you agree?


  1. Oh Joyce, My heart goes Out to Mom T. Yep, I am sure her heart is broken as she stepped up and made those big decisions that are so necessary at this time in their golden years. Speaking from experience with my Mom, these are the most devastating times as we hold a loved ones future in our hands. Your whole family will be in my prayer and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

  2. I do agree. We modern girls could learn a lot from those Steel Magnolias (I think Steel Magnolias grown everywhere; not just the South.)Bless her heart, she's a hero in my book.

  3. So sad...Those big girl pants are hard to fill, especailly when your best friend of 64 yrs. isn't up to being right next to you. Thankfully they both have a good family to help them through this rough time.

  4. Oh yes, changes after all those years will be a challenge, but it sounds as though she's rallying. Good for her.
    And it's not all the elder generation.... I let DH Joe handle the bulk of our investments etc. He's good at it and he enjoys it so we're both happy.

  5. Oh yes! It sounds like she is stepping up to the plate and doing what has to be done.

    My MIL, 93, may soon be facing a lot of those decisions. FIL was just diagnosed with stage 2 esophageal cancer. Of course, she has been in charge their entire marriage, he just doesn't know it!

  6. Been there, done that. Hard stuff. Nice to have family and friends to help you out tho!

  7. We are in the midst of this kind of deal. My dad, 92 is starting to show real signs of dementia. It is getting more and more difficult for my mom, 87. My siblings and I try to pick up the slack but I fear things will have to change before long. Hard things but we have been blessed with parents who have been married for over 70 years and have been in good health until recently. You can't shake a stick at that.
    God bless your MIL.


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